I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
