I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
