he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need moral support for this bender
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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