your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
