Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
