And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
