There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
