what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They have beer where we have blood.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
