you didnt know i had herpes?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he fucked my hip out of place.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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