She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
