We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
