ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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