We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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