I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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