just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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