I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
