i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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