After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My vagina is officially offended.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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