Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
