the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
