i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
