yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So I just went to clothing optional bar
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
