found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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