It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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