where does the pee come out of this thing
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
