he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
