farters have to be the big spoon...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
