Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
