her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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