One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Terrible idea I love it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
