I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
