Buhtt sex?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
