apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
