Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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