I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Text me some of your sweat
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
