I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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