Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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