Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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