So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
