all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
