Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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