I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
