Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dick very happy bro
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
