dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
