I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
