just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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