My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
