brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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