Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
