well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
